Gratitude: Beyond the Positive

It is the season of Thanksgiving. By now you have probably received and read several articles, greeting cards and email messages about taking time to be grateful for all of the wonderful things in your life. We have a lot to be grateful for -- our health, our family, our success, our abilities and our good life. While these are the big categories of positive attributes in our life, you might also think of hundreds of specific aspects of your life to be grateful for in the past year.

It is a wonderful exercise to think of and write down all of the parts of your life for which you feel grateful, and perhaps to thank the people that supported you in each of those areas. But it is an even more amazing process to think of the things that happened in the past year that didn't feel so positive and revisit them with the eye on what you could be grateful for in each experience. Here are three examples of applying gratitude to a negative situation.

Three Ways to be Grateful for a Negative Situation

1. It could have been worse
While we experience situations that we don't prefer or didn't want at all, maybe it could have been worse. The CEO of a corporation that experienced a 10% decline in sales was expressing gratitude to his sales force and organization in a speech last week. He said, "You have all done a fantastic job this year. The average decline in sales for most companies in our industry is 25%, but with your great effort, we only experienced a 10% decline. Thank you for your dedication and quality work."

On a personal level, maybe you were not as healthy as you would have liked. You could have gained 15 pounds, or dealt with an illness this past year. Yet, you could be grateful that you are still alive. You could be grateful that you didn't gain 30 pounds or that your weight issue is not a drug addiction issue.

What are the negative situations you found yourself in this year that you are grateful didn't turn out much worse?

2. Transform a negative situation into a learning opportunity
There are many times we find ourselves in negative situations that are really opportunities for learning. This could take the form of a mistake in our performance on the job or an overreaction to a communication we are having with another individual. In some cases they are so dramatic that we could experience discouragement, depression or anger. But even in those cases, when we settle ourselves down, we find that there is a great learning opportunity to improve our performance or our communication.

For instance, maybe you had a particularly difficult year in terms of your relationship with your spouse, family, or significant partner. As a result, you sought coaching or counseling and have greatly improved your communication and relationship skills, which has had a positive effect on many others in your life. In fact, maybe the improvement you experienced from a negative situation has led you to feel more confident, more competent and more relaxed. This would be a great result even though it stemmed from a negative event.

What are the negative situations that occurred in your life this year that you turned into positive learning experiences, for which you feel grateful and which resulted in eventual positive outcomes for yourself or others?

3. Transform a negative situation into a positive outcome
Sometimes we find ourselves in a negative situation that we end up turning into an opportunity and a positive outcome. We have all heard of people who were laid off from their jobs in the most negative of times. They may have been pressured to pay bills, or just started a family, or moved into a new house with a heavy mortgage payment. Yet, the person used the opportunity to do some soul-searching and decided to change careers. Not only are they happier in their new career, but they are also making more money to support themselves. It didn't happen overnight and there may have been much discouragement along the way, but because they focused on transforming the negative situation into a positive outcome, they were successful.

What are the negative situations you experienced this year that you turned into positive experiences for yourself and others?

Summary

The happiest people I know tend not to view negative situations as negative. They view all situations as opportunities to improve, create a positive experience, or simply to be grateful. They approach each situation with an eye on gratitude, realizing that their life is a gift and they are going to make the best of their particular gift. I find that these people are not only more joyful, but they are less stressful and they tend to acknowledge others more freely. They are always watching with gratitude for the people on their teams, for their families, or even for acquaintances who are contributing to a loving, caring and empathetic environment.

What are the ways you can increase your experience and expression of gratitude during and after Thanksgiving?

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