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I was recently having lunch in a restaurant downtown and
I overheard a conversation brewing at the next table. Two
friends from different companies were discussing their jobs.
One seemed thrilled with his experience and the other kept
complaining and dreaded going back to his office.
Their conversation reminded me of the old tale of the two
stone cutters. One is carrying rocks, whistling and having
a great time. The other is miserable and wishing he were somewhere
else. When asked what they were doing, the unhappy guy simply
states that he is carrying rocks, while the one whistling
says that he is building a cathedral.
I have been studying Accountability for about 20 years and
that story is still behind a lot of my research.
The point of difference between the two stonecutters is “choice”
– each made a choice in attitude and belief. Choosing
our attitude, beliefs and our actions are the keys to being
accountable. When we become aware and begin making choices
that serve rather than hinder us and others, we begin the
process of personal Accountability.
At the heart of it, we can either focus on what makes us thrive
or what makes us suffer. A person who makes a mistake, hides
and then beats himself up when the mistake gets surfaced,
suffers. Had he admitted the mistake up front, forgiven himself
and asked for forgiveness from others, valuable time and energy
might have been spent on recovery, learning and moving forward.
How we react to an issue generally causes more suffering than
the issue itself.
What happens when life deals us a “bad” hand, or
one we don’t like? Maybe we didn’t get the promotion
we thought we deserved. Maybe something life altering has
happened to us and we just don’t know how to move on.
There’s been a lot of press recently about a teenage
girl named Bethany Hamilton. She lives in Hawaii and lost
her arm in a shark attack while surfing. Bethany’s positive
view on life has put her back on a surfboard, and she’s
competing again. She’s had to make concessions but she
apparently takes it in stride, acknowledges her concern for
sharks, and gets into the water to do what she loves doing.
When I assess an organization’s Accountability, I go
to their meetings. Do people attend with a clear desired outcome
of what they want to accomplish and surface tough issues in
a way that is geared for a positive resolution? Or, are people
choosing to sit quietly while the meeting accomplishes the
agenda, feeling resentful at the end because it wasted their
valuable time? When a tough issue arises, do people get involved
in coming up with a resolution, or do they sit back in judgment
or ignorance because “it is not their problem?”
Are people getting on board or watching the train go by?
What do you choose to think, feel and do in your personal
life? We have all heard others and maybe ourselves complain
about situations that occur in our lives. “How will I
make new friends if we move to a new state?” “There
must be something wrong with me for my teenager to have gone
off track like this.” “God must be angry with me
to have allowed such a tragedy in my life.” These are
common responses to difficult situations, and no one is to
be blamed for having these thoughts and attitudes. However,
there might be other choices that would assist us in getting
less upset, frustrated, disappointed or discouraged.
As I finished my meal, I glanced over to the friends at the
next table, who were still comparing job experiences. I was
reminded that indeed, life is a choice. You can order up just
about anything. When I choose to live accountably, I ask myself
the following questions:
- What is the opportunity that will present itself from this situation?
- What can I learn that will assist me and possibly others in the future?
- What attitude and belief can I hold about the situation I am facing that would result in the smoothest transition?
- Who can I contact to support me through this change?
Maybe they will serve as a resource for you. By choosing
to have an accountable life we begin to shift our beliefs,
our attitudes, and our actions. What results is a life full
of enthusiasm, curiosity, joy and peace.
Action Plan:
What are the challenges that you are facing at work or in
your personal life?
What choice have you been making in your attitudes, beliefs
and behaviors regarding those challenges?
How have these choices served you and how have they cost you?
What new attitudes, beliefs and behaviors can you choose to
create a more positive response for yourself and others?
How can you get back on track if you return to an old attitude,
belief or behavior that doesn’t work for you?
What support could you use, and from whom, to assist you in
making this change?
How will you know when you are successful?
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